All prices include postage. To place an order from outside of the continental U.S., or to pay by check or well-concealed cash, please contact me directly at orders@someassemblyrequiredmusic.com to arrange payment. Note: You do NOT need a PayPal account to pay online.
If you prefer, you can shop at my Amazon.com store (but I make more money if you buy directly from me). Limited-edition releases are not available through Amazon.com.
dreaming big will only give you nightmares
(some) assembly required
December 2, 2008
|
$9.00
|
|
| 1. |
the graves of forgotten moments |
 |
 |
| 2. |
going out in style |
|
|
| 3. |
so much for summer |
|
|
| 4. |
autumn |
|
|
| 5. |
a complete and perfect failure |
|
|
| 6. |
screaming in my sleep |
|
|
| 7. |
carefully folded letters |
|
|
| 8. |
the cruelest memory |
|
|
| 9. |
postmortem popularity |
|
|
| 10. |
hateful |
|
|
| 11. |
an unsatisfying ending |
|
|
|
|
The long-awaited full-length album! Crippling self-loathing, suffocating loneliness, mind-numbing depression, puerile spitefulness, and existential dread never sounded so sweet! Witness me imagine what it's like to die from asphyxiation or blood loss, hear me recount my incredible ability to alienate my friends, or listen as I long for an imaginary, idealized past life in which I still believed in romantic love. All this, and more, awaits you within the 37 minutes of piano-based pop-rock I have compiled herein. These CDs were professionally duplicated by Bellwether Mfg., and each comes with a full-color, 8-panel insert that includes all of the lyrics. All words and music by Sam Brown. Recorded and Mixed by Doug Batchelder and Sam Brown, at The Opium Den Studios in North Reading, MA, and in Sam's bedroom, from June 2007 to June 2008. Mastered by Alan Douches at West West Side Music in New Windsor, NY, on July 2nd, 2008. Drums performed by Jesse Magnuson. Bass and Guitars performed by Doug Batchelder. Everything else performed by Sam Brown. Album art designed by Laurie Shipley (www.laurieshipley.com). All songs (c) and (p) Sam Brown, 2001-2008. |
the graves of forgotten moments
our sleep-stained eyes still burn with the camera’s flash
you close yours so tight, and the tears can only barely fall
i wish that i could catch them before they strike the floor and sink
below cracked boards to the graves of other forgotten moments.
who knows what shadows occupy the spaces between
what happened here long before you and i ever felt these things
or whether anyone, while staring at this still life,
will someday ponder what lies beneath and
as the light fades, i wonder…
when nothing seems to make any sense at all,
why can’t we just breathe?
why can’t we just breathe?
just breathe.
just breathe.
going out in style
kick off the sheets, another sleepless night
until i forgive me for what i did to you,
i'll be anything but alright.
is this the last song that i will ever write?
until i forgive me for what i did to you,
i'll be anything but alright.
so roll out, roll out, roll out the red carpet
because i'm going out in style
and you’ll be left alone to sing,
“the king is dead, long live the king”
while i'm left here with everything
but you.
i get out of bed and i turn on the light
until i figure out what i did to you,
i'll be anything but alright.
so roll out, roll out, roll out the red carpet
because i'm going out in style
you’ll never know that i miss you so
and you’ll never know that i love you so
so roll out, roll out, roll out the red carpet
because i'm going out in style
so roll out, roll out, roll out the red carpet
because i'm going out in style
you gave me everything…
so roll out, roll out, roll out the red carpet
because i'm going out in style
yeah, i'm going out in style.
the king is dead, long live the king.
so much for summer
friday night and i'm all alone
but there’s a picture on the wall of all my friends
it seems so long ago
and the days drag by so slow,
dragging me down so low,
i'm burning in the afterglow of my defeat,
searching for a shadow of hope
“so much for summer,” that’s what we said
and i agreed with it…
my hands are cold and my lips are chapped
and i'm hours away from sleep
i'll forever be the master of the secrets i keep
and the hours drag by so slow,
dragging me down so low,
i'm drowning in the undertow of my deceit,
begging for a death-dealing blow
“so much for summer,” that’s what we said…
the more things change, the more they stay the same
the more i cry, the more i play their game
i'll be solitary, still and silent, either way.
don't cry
don’t cry
don’t cry for me, i don’t need
your sympathy.
friday night and i'm all alone
but there’s a picture on the wall of all my friends
it seems so long ago
and the days drag by so slow,
dragging me down so low,
i'm burning in the afterglow of my defeat,
searching for a shadow of hope
“so much for summer,” that’s what we said
and i agreed with it…
autumn
i woke with the sunset today
bright, yellow beams shone between
empty branches, cold and gray.
i realized that this year,
i missed the leaves change
from green to gold
to brown, wither and decay,
finding their place in the frozen ground
where i lay.
perhaps next year will see
my eyes more open to the beauty
that surrounds me
before it fades
and falls away.
a complete and perfect failure
a table set for two,
but it’s only you
and your memories.
and it’s fitting,
in an empty sort of way,
your last days in this place
would be spent without
a familiar face to turn to.
in the depths of your pain
you pushed everyone away
so wave goodbye,
this isn’t moving on
as much as giving in
to the inevitability
of failing
so completely.
cut your losses and let the blood flow.
it's time to finish what you started…
(take a deep breath, now,
take a deep breath, now,
let it out slow, now,
let it out so slow.)
so let all your mistakes
spill across the floor.
you were only pretending
you’d ever make it out that door.
in the depths of your pain
you pushed everyone away
so wave goodbye,
this isn’t moving on
as much as giving in
to the inevitability
of failing
so completely.
(take a deep breath, now,
take a deep breath, now,
let it out slow, now,
let it out so slow.)
the last five years have been
the most beautiful
and elaborate lie
that i have ever told
and i'll take you down with me.
i’ll drag you down with me.
i’ll drag you down with me.
i’ll drag you down with me.
(just get away from me.)
i'll drag you down...
and i wish that i were dead.
screaming in my sleep
she screams when i'm asleep
but i've heard it all before
still she won’t tell me anything,
no, she won’t tell me anything
i'm tired of making up her mind
i still don’t know what i'm waiting for
my heart aches, i want to make her mine
i still don’t know what i'm waiting for
she says that we’re in love
and i act like i've never heard that before
when i'm tangled up in her
can’t she see that i’m afraid?
i scream when she’s away
i worry like i've never been alone before
still i won’t tell her anything,
no, i can’t tell her anything
i'm tired of making up my mind
i still don’t know what i'm waiting for
she says that she is only mine
i still don’t know what i'm waiting for…
i will give you anything
anything
anything at all.
carefully folded letters
i'll strangle myself with this phone cord
before i listen to another sordid story, excuse,
or feeble alibi
so you can leave me hanging…
please tell me where it hurts and i
will tell you that it’s over.
we stumble backwards on scraped knees
over bending hearts that break and bleed
and we wander
while we paper-cut the tie that binds
with carefully folded letters.
this is the last time you will hear my voice
and this is the last letter i will send your way
as this blade slices into my skin,
i hope you feel it.
now i know i'm alone.
now i know i'm alone.
why can’t you see that there’s so much more to me?
why can’t you see that there’s no taking this back?
i hope it hurts you…
to watch me go.
before you leave, i just have to know –
will you still be smiling
when they’re shoveling dirt onto my grave?
we stumble backwards on scraped knees
over bending hearts that break and bleed
and we wander
while we paper-cut the tie that binds
with carefully folded letters.
the cruelest memory
the halcyon glow of summer’s last sunset
flickers through my mind
and sets the western hills on fire
where we said goodbye
for the last time,
where i watched you as, right before my eyes,
you became a ghost
and walked out of my life
for a second time.
and i didn’t do a thing
so that this,
the cruelest of memories,
would stay right here with me
until my time runs out
and my days run down
to meet their end,
broken and scattered and tangled in the wind…
for the rest of my life
there will be a place just out of sight
where you and i are smiling, together,
and everything is alright.
but as this stands,
save your smiles for a better day
when i am gone.
i promise that it won’t be long.
postmortem popularity
i want to be a has-been on afternoon TV,
treading water in a sea of mediocrity
and when you see me flicker on the screen
i will wave to you from your memory
and that's enough for me
i don't want fame, you see
i just want you to remember me
i want to be an album that never made the charts,
breaking hearts through AM static as the needle skips and starts
and years from now you will find me in
a dusty, discount record store bin
taking me home, you will give me a few spins
before you grow tired of me again
but i know that you'll feel a pang of sadness
as you drop me in the trash
and that's enough for me
i don't want fame, you see
i just want you to remember me
the days are getting longer
and each time the sun sets
i feel more alone
because there's no one to share it with
so i've got my shades drawn
and my Camber records on
i'm rejected and depressed
and all my friends are gone
but that's OK with me
i don't want fame, you see
i just want you to remember me
hateful
no, i'm not sorry that
i didn’t pass your stupid test
or that i'll never see you again
so let’s not waste any time
pretending you still want me,
pretending that you want to be my friend.
so go on, go on, go on
and fight your holy war
yeah, go on, go on, go on
yeah, i don’t need you anymore
and i don’t need your friends
and no, i'm not sorry.
it's never going to be good enough.
so go on, go on, go on
and fight your holy war
yeah, go on, go on, go on
yeah, i don’t need you anymore
(i just can’t take this)
and i don’t need your friends
and no, i'm not sorry.
the way i feel inside,
i just can’t hide it.
this bitter pill went down so easy
you’re so much sweeter
as an enemy.
but there’s no need for me
to return the favor
and ruin your life, too
so let’s not waste any time
pretending i still care
pretending that i care enough to hate you.
an unsatisfying ending
the ending to this silent movie,
it’s so unsatisfying
the hero is looking up to the sky
so far beyond the water above his head
wondering why he never realized…
the sun never looked so golden
standing up there on the shore
cold wind in his face, his heart so unsure
but now he can only see
as if through tinted glass
beams of light wavering
as water flows all around him,
gravity pulling at his toes.
(i am the same as ever,
only older,
and not the one i thought that i could be.)
we all have dreams of flying
but the truth bears down on our skinny necks,
pulls us to the ground again.
some, perhaps to stand.
some, perhaps to drown.
(i know you didn’t mean it so
sing it to me like you don’t know.)
spring came
to melt the ice away
to give us another chance
to drown our fears...
just sing like no one is listening
you know they never were, anyway.
and i could spend another morning
curled up on the floor,
with a chair against the door,
but i'd rather end it all today.
(i know you didn’t mean it so
sing it to me like you don’t know.)
spring came
to melt the ice away
to give us another chance
to drown our fears
but nothing has changed…
we are hollow and alone.
so much for summer [single]
(some) assembly required
August 5, 2008
|
$3.00
|
|
| 1. |
so much for summer |
|
|
| 2. |
all for nothing |
|
|
|
|
Another single about how I have no friends, or at least how I'm shocked whenever I realize that everyone doesn't hate me (years of crippling self-loathing will do that to you). I suppose it's about a few other things, too, like lying to myself, contemplating suicide and making out... yes, all this crammed into 3 minutes of teen-angst-ridden pop-rock. The kids are really going to love me, now! Each comes packaged in a clear vinyl sleeve and black cardboard slipcase, with hand-stenciled artwork. Pressed onto double-sided black CD-Rs. Strictly limited to 50 hand-numbered copies. Limit 2 per address, please. All words and music by Sam Brown. Recorded and Mixed by Doug Batchelder and Sam Brown, at The Opium Den Studios in North Reading, MA, and in Sam's bedroom, from June 2007 to June 2008. 'so much for summer' mastered by Alan Douches and 'all for nothing' mastered by Sam Brown, July 2008. Drums performed by Jesse Magnuson. Bass performed by Doug Batchelder. Everything else performed by Sam Brown. |
so much for summer
friday night and i'm all alone
but there's a picture on the wall of all my friends
it seems so long ago
and the days drag by so slow,
dragging me down so low
i'm burning in the afterglow of my defeat,
searching for a shadow of hope
so much for summer,
that's what we said,
and i agreed with it.
my hands are cold and my lips are chapped
and i'm hours away from sleep; i'll forever be
the master of the secrets i keep
and the hours drag by so slow,
dragging me down so low
i'm drowning in the undertow of my deceit,
begging for a death-dealing blow
so much for summer,
that's what we said.
the more things change, the more they stay the same
the more i cry, the more i play their game
i'll be solitary, still and silent, either way...
don't cry
don't cry
don't cry for me.
i don't need your sympathy.
friday night and i'm all alone
but there's a picture on the wall of all my friends
it seems so long ago
and the days drag by so slow,
dragging me down so low
i'm burning in the afterglow of my defeat,
searching for a shadow of hope
so much for summer,
that's what we said,
and i agreed with it.
postmortem popularity [single]
(some) assembly required
May 13, 2008
|
$3.00
|
postmortem popularity
i want to be a has-been on afternoon TV,
treading water in a sea of mediocrity
and when you see me flicker on the screen
i will wave to you from your memory
and that's enough for me
i don't want fame, you see
i just want you to remember me
i want to be an album that never made the charts,
breaking hearts through AM static as the needle skips and starts
and years from now you will find me in
a dusty, discount record store bin
taking me home, you will give me a few spins
before you grow tired of me again
but i know that you'll feel a pang of sadness
as you drop me in the trash
and that's enough for me
i don't want fame, you see
i just want you to remember me
the days are getting longer
and each time the sun sets
i feel more alone
because there's no one to share it with
so i've got my shades drawn
and my Camber records on
i'm rejected and depressed
and all my friends are gone
but that's OK with me
i don't want fame, you see
i just want you to remember me
hometown
all the hope that i once had is gone
it left me as a bird takes flight
before the winter night grows long
so don't wait for me
with each year that passes by, we're more alone
and our awkward, youthful smiles
belie a pain that no one shows
so don't wait for me
yeah, don't wait for me
this wasted life,
these wasted friends
and wasted dreams,
they're all dead ends.
don't waste your time
and pretend
that i can change
i'll only fail again.
now it seems that the heart of me
has come apart at the seams,
so farewell, forever
you can see me in your dreams
you can see me in your dreams
you can see me in your dreams
so hold on
just hold on
i'm not waiting for a reason
why we should keep on breathing
i'm only here because
there's nothing left worth leaving.
